I didn’t show my kids how deeply hurt I was when Ivan disappeared from my life. I mean… we talked about that and I told them, that I was sad, but maybe he would come back. We were sometimes praying in the evening before they went to sleep, that he would come back. The little ones never saw him from the time he disappeared, Iza saw him twice in the city. Slowly they started to forget him.
They don’t mention him any more. Now it has been years since he left. He just disappeared. It’s worse than death. When somebody dies he gets a funeral and everybody talks about him. Here there was no death, there
was disappearance of a beloved person, who was the father to my kids. Sometimes I asked myself if we were really together or is this just something I invented myself. For me it was diving into a gap full of pain. And I hide it from the kids that they will not notice it. But they did.
My boy went for a medical check in the school at the end of the year with the whole class and I got a feedback from them: “Your son has a problem with his heart. Please come in one week for a medical check." I was frightened. Is there anything more horrible than your child who is sick? I mean… it ’s something else if you are sick, but a child!!!!
At once I asked him to stop his training. He was practicing football and judo at the time. He had football matches every weekend. It was very exhausting. I thought it was too much for him. I was talking to his trainer and he said that lots of
boys have this “disease”, which is not a disease but a characteristic. It comes and goes.
It so happened that I was seeing a clairvoyant at this time. I told her, how desparate I am because of what happened to me, with my partner’s betrayal and I ask her for guidance. She asked me to turn the tarots cards and she said: “Your son is sick. It is because of you. Your sadness is so profound that he just merged into it”.
I was totally out of mind from concern. At this time I read a lot about angels and there was one book where people talked about their experience with them. There was a woman who had a sick nephew and she was calling archangel Raphael to come into her nephew’s sick part of the body and heal it. The child was waiting for an operation. She was praying several days all days long. Then the doctors checked him again before the operation. The child was completely healthy!
I talked to Miki (nickname of my son) and told him that the doctors found a little hole in his heart and that he can heal himself with calling archangel Raphael to come into his heart and heal him. I said to him that he had to repeat that so often whenever he remembers. He should not do that in front of others if he is not comfortable with that.
I was also praying for my son to archangel Raphael. We had medical exam in few days.
Doctor put “octopus” on him and listened to his heart. She said that everything is OK, she can’t hear any “noise”. I asked her to check it again. She checked again and said: “His heart is completely ok!”