I studied political sciences. I did my diploma on nationalism in the year 1990, one year before my state Yugoslavia broke apart. I actually wanted to study something totally different. I did the audition exams for Actor’s Academy but I didn’t pass the exam. I was so devastated with this that they didn’t accept me to the actor’s school that I just signed up to one school which I really hated. Maybe I did that to punished myself more…

Faculty for political sciencies was something a million sunlight years away from what was really me. I hated school from the first second I signed up to it. But I was going there anyway. To all lectures. Soon I made friends with lots of girls and boys and we became close friends. We actually had such a good time. It was not the lectures… they were dead boring, the time was after Tito died (he died in 1980). Professors were lecturing about socialism, the system which was totalitarian and I intuitively knew that it is not working and that it will sooner or later be over.

Of course I had no idea, that in ten years would be the end of socialism… I just didn’t feel good in studying it. It was kind of… learning something that you know that is absolutely not working. Like… listening to some preacher in church about a religion that you don’t believe.

Already in the beginning we formed a group of people who were against the system. We actually didn’t know exactly against what we were. Maybe we were against it just because we were young and we were rebellious. Of course all of us liked our president Tito, but when he was a revolutionary, not then, when he was already old and starting to speak slowly… We loved all revolutionary movements, especially partisans. We all were going to punk concerts which preceded the civilian movement in our country. We didn’t have much information about what was going on in the world of course. We didn’t have literature from abroad. I mean, we could go across the border and buy it, but we didn’t have money for that. They taught us that capitalism is a bad system, which would soon be over. In fact it was totally turned around, what they taught us. Thirty years from then capitalism is still alive – all over the world, more than ever, but socialism didn’t survive anywhere, or is dying right now.

I had really brilliant school friends who taught me a lot. Always somebody was alone at home and we had these endless parties all over. Sometimes at my place, sometimes at others. I think that everybody should have lots of parties when they are twenty years old, otherwise they will always have a feeling that they have missed something . We were drinking a lot, speaking about our dreams. I had two or three really great school friends and I enjoyed in their brilliant talks. They were analyzing the political situation and telling what they would do differently if they ever came into power.

Good that we know, that they would indeed come into power in ten – fifteen years. In the middle of nineties all these school friends came to power. That was a shock for me. I was by then in Vienna and in a totally different “movie”. All my schoolfriends got jobs after they finished their studies.

I studied three years longer, because I found out about dianetics and scientology in 1988 and I stopped doing all other things. I was like in a state of revelation when I found the book Dianetics. I was not able to do anything else. It was like… somebody put a spell on me. Divine Being fulfilled my desires and showed me this book which I was sooooooooo interested in. It was about something that I had been looking for since my boyfriend died when I was sixteen. And much much more .. It was something that gave me answers as to why people behave as they do. I went in a totally different direction to my school friends who were eager to get a state job , family and that was it. We soon lost our contacts. I was not at home anyway. They heard about me that I was in a strange sect and that was it.

And I heard about them how they were part of the government. Some of them were ministers, the other were in diplomatic posts… And they lost this revolutionary glow as soon as they became part of the system… Once I met one of myschoolfriends, who was working in the slovenian embassy in Vienna. I asked him to help me to find a job. He said he can’t because I was at the time married to an Austrian man…