I came in Vienna in the begining of 1994. My boyfriend, with which we split in June 1993 was already married. I remember that Dietrich was talking about a flat, which was there for him, he got it from his father. I didn't want to "jump" on him, since in the beginning he was not so happy to see me, like last time. I found out why, he had another girl who just leave Vienna.

So... after some days we moved into this place. It was an ugly little flat near main road which is going directon Salzburg. It was very loud and on the windows there were black soots. Nobody ever lived in this flat, it belonged to Dietrich's father in case he would need it. But we were alone and it was ours! My plan was to become so quickly pregnant as possible. I don't know if this was a plan - I just wanted to ground a familly and having kids with him. After so many crazy years before me and after abortions with my first boyfriend, I just said: OK: I am thirty two, I want to have a kid with this guy, not just one - two, three, four... ten kids. So, I tried hard to conquer him, but it was easier than I thought. 

I bought pregnancy test and in april it was positive. OMG, I was finally pregnant!!! What was my first thought... no, it can be, I will do abortion. I was scared to death and happy till heaven. Both at once. How will I tell my parents? They never saw Dietrich. That's already my third boyfriend!!! ...and... But what do I talk now about my parents? Who is pregnant - me or them? I am finally pregnant and now I don't want to be anymore? I need to go to buy bed and clothes and everything for the baby... I need to be happy happy happy, not thinking about what can go wrong. 

So...I was talking myself into positivity, despite the fear what will my parents think. My parents came to visit in may and I told my mother in the toilet of McDonalds that I was pregnant. She needed to breath a bit, but than she was happy. My father was not problematical at all. And that was my biggest fear! It was not fear, it was annoyance. What they will think, what they will say... 

It was so super easy to become pregnant! The worst part was my mind trying to convince me that something was wrong! Nothing was wrong, it was the beginning of a new life! I wanted this child so badly and so loooooooooong! Sometimes we are prepared to get children, sometimes we are suprised. But we have nine months to get prepared. It's not like that that a women gets pregnant and tomorrow a child is born!