I think the love is something where we are all wounded, or disguided or we hav an illusion what that is. We all have this thing in our DNA. It is natural to us and "everyone" is seeking for love, for romance, for a partner or at least for someone who would understand him/her. It's is not about sex, it is about the soul. But sex is part of it. And it is different with any person, since we are so differently placed on our vibration... One is more about sex, the other is more about soul. But we all need that and if we found the right person - oh... there is no other joy like it. But it can be very painful. That's why lot of people who had bad experience with it is avoiding it and having fear about intimacy. And this is a pain... since everyone want to have it, but because of fear is blocking it.

I just want to talk about that because I was whole my life looking for a prince. I guess - every girl does it. And boys... there are more manly, and agressive and want to have sexual interaction right away, very early - but girls are not prepared like that, need more time, more a feeling of security that this man is ok.

So, to tell my story - I was in books through all my early ages and was dreaming all the time. I think I was looking for my prince from my past life. I was very aware from the beginning of my life that I was living before and that I had a love relationship before and I wanted to find him. Well it was not so easy as I thought, it was very complicated and painful, with lots of lessons. 

My first picture about what is love where my parents. Of course I had these stories in my books. But this was virtual reality. Real reality were my parents. My father was a military officer and was rude and sometimes brutal, but most of the time - and when my mother was not triggering him, he was just nice. He had a big heart, but I found that much later. I saw him as somebody who has to be there, since he is my father and who is stealing attention from my beloved mother... Oh, my mother... my mother... this being who I so much loved that I could explode. And I didn't get her love back... so I imagined a trick. She never kissed me like she kissed my sister. I didn't allowed, but whole my being was shouting: "Please, kiss me!"...

My parents where quarrelling all the time... or my father was commanding something and my mother was quiet because she constantly contradicted him. He humiliated her in front of others, she was silent for days and days. He especially liked to humiliate her in front of his brothers and sisters and she could not forgive him for that and blamed him for years and years. There was actually always the same - it was like they recorded this conversation years ago and they just fall into trails and repeating this accusations over and over.

And this should be love? Of course they were also nice to each other but most of the time no. I was all the time somewhere at the back, like story teller or like a silent witness and I was sick and tired of them. And in ten years, I repeat the story with my first husband, just it was much more horrible.

So, this should be love? How about talking, really talking to ecah other, listening to another, just being present without words. Respect each other, being interested in what the other is doing, telling stories, having fun, looking into each other deep into eyes...

So, I never had a relationship which I felt that this is it, but I had many and I also had nice time. When it was nice - when the other person is letting you be you, when he is not needy, when you feel free to express yourself, when there is no jealosy and other hard feelings... when ther is fun, fun, fun and lots of laughter! Sex is just a "side" product, just a game.