126. dan: Jeza

Objavil/a Klavdija Hiti, dne 2015-08-21 ob 19:46:55

So različne stvari, ki te pripeljejo do jeze. Jeziš se zaradi počasnih voznikov pred sabo, ker je gužva na cesti ali v trgovini in se ti mudi, zato, ker te je nekdo užalil in si jezen nanj, pa jezen si, ko ti gre vse narobe. Da, veliko je trenutkov, ki te pripeljejo do jeze. Pa je res temu tako? Ali se res jezimo zato, ker je to edina možnost, ter če se ne bi jezili, ne bi mogli živeti? Ali so res ljudje ali avtomobili pred tabo krivi za tvojo jezo, ter zamujanje, ali si se sam napačno odločil in šel prepozno od doma, ali pa si mislil, da boš hitreje prišel na dogovorjeno mesto, vendar si se zadržal nekje? Ali res dela prodajalka v tvoji vrsti tako počasi, ker ji je dolgčas, ali mogoče, ker se tebi tako mudi? No, vse je v glavi. Ko greš na pot od doma, računaš, da bo cesta prazna in ne bo zastojev, ker zastoji so, pride do jeze (razlika med našimi predvidevanji in realnostjo- čustva), v trgovini mislimo, da če se postavimo v neko vrsto, da bo šla zaradi nas hitreje, kot ponavadi, vendar gre tako poooočasi, ter še veliko situacij, za katere mislimo, da se bodo odvile drugače, kot si predstavljamo, venar se odvijajo po svoje, mi pa smo zaradi te banalne razlike tako jezni, da kar "puhamo" od jeze, čeprav ni nihče okoli nas kriv za tako situacijo, samo mi sami, z našimi mislimi smo nas pipeljali do tega.

Par dni nazaj sem se jezila na ljudi, ki niti vedeli niso, da se jezim nanje, ker jaz sem mislila, da me ignorirajo, v resnici sem pa po pomoti imeta mikrofon na mute in me niso slišali, da jim želim nekaj povedati. Seveda je bilo vse v moji glavi, saj sem predvidevala, da me slišijo in sem jim nekaj govorila, v resnici pa me niso slišali, zato pa niso komunicirali z mano, me poslušali. 

Odpustilm si, da sem sprejela in si dovolila jeziti se na ljudi. Ko se zavem, da se jezim na ljudi, se ustavim in diham. Zavedam se, da če se jezim na druge, da se jezim v resnici nase, ker sem načrtovala in si želela, da se stvari zgodijo drugače, kot so se v resnici. Najslabše je nek potek načrtovati vnaprej, sploh če je velika možnost, da pride do sprememb. Zavezujem se, da si ne delam nekih načrtov, ki se lahko spremenijo, saj tako en morem biti jezna, če se mi načrti ne uresničijo.

Odpustim si, da sem sprejela in si dovolila bit jezna nase. Ko se zavem, da sem jezna nase, se ustavim in diham. Zavedam se, da sem nase lahko jezna, ko ugotovim, da bi lahko bolje prišla skozi, ali bi bil rezultat boljši, če bi delala drugače, vendar ko si nekaj zamislim, delam tako, kot si zamislim. Zavezujem se, da se prilagajam in delam na tak način, da mi ne bo potrebno se jeziti nase.

Odpustim si, da sem sprejela in si dovolila se bati, da bodo drugi jezni, če bom naredila kaj narobe. Ko se zavem, da se bojim, da bodo drugi jezni, če bom naredila kaj narobe, se ustavim in diham. Zavedam se, da sama ne morem predvidevati reakcij drugih, saj so lahko neke stvari zanje čisto normalne, ko se zame zdijo nekaj slabega in zaradi tega pričakujem grajo ali jezo od njih, saj se mi je to tudi dogajalo pogosto v otroštvu. Zavezujem se, da ne sklepam o jezi drugih iz moje perspektive, ker ima vsak drugačen pogled na določeno situacijo.

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Aug 22, 2015
Od jeze rit raste!
Nekomu bo všečkana.
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Klavdija Hiti
Klavdija Hiti je objavil/a na zid osebe Pot sprememb
Objavil/a 2015-08-21 19:46:55 (Aug 21, 2015)
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