128. dan: Prvi vtis in trenutek

Objavil/a Klavdija Hiti, dne 2015-09-09 ob 00:12:43

Pogovarjala sem se z osebo B, ki mi je rekla, da ko je slišala neke govorice o meni, da se je pričela umikati. Nato je ta oseba odšla na internet, ter pričela z raziskovanjem, ter ugotovila, da v resnici sploh nisem taka pošast, kot je dobila prvi vtis oz kar so osebi B o meni povedali drugi. Najprej se me je oseba B izogibala, ko pa me je preverila na internetu je bila bolj zaupljiva do mene. Tudi drugi so se me izogibali. Oseba B pa je spremenila mnenje o meni, ker je ugotovila, da me bo že ukrotila. Na srečo sem to osebo želela vprašati zakaj je prišlo do te spremembe in dobila sem odgovor, to pa še ni vse. Zaradi te osebe sem odprla oči, ter ugotovila, da se moram do ljudi, katere šele spoznavam obnašati drugače, ker lahko dobijo napačen vtis o meni. Vpletenim osebam sem se opravičila, vendar glavno opravičilo je opravičilo sebi.

Odpustim si, da sem sprejela in si dovolila biti vsiljiva do oseb, ki jih niti ne poznam dobro. Ko se zavem, da sem vsiljiva do oseb, ki jih niti ne poznam dobro, se ustavim in diham. Zavedam se, da smo ljudje različni. Nekateri hitro navežejo stike, drugi jih zelo težko, nekateri obožujejo dotike, drugim so dotiki odveč ali pa se jim zdijo vulgarni, nekateri imajo tabu teme o katerih jim je težko govoriti, spet drugi jih nimajo. Sama se moram zavedati, da so ljudje drugačni kot jaz in lahko če delam nekaj, kar je meni všeč, lahko drugim ne paše, zato se moram v nepoznani družbi umiriti in spva spoznati ljudi in njihove meje. Zavezujem se, da se izogibam fizičnih stikov in pogostih tabu tem v družbi s katero se šele spoznavam.

Odpustim si, da sem sprejela in si dovolila iskati pozornost na nepravi način, pri nepravih ljudeh. Ko se zavem, da iščem pozornost na nepravi način, pri nepravih ljudeh, se ustavim in diham. Zavedam se, da je nepravi način vsak način pri katerem ne delam tako, kot bi želela, da bi drugi naredili meni. Če nekoga pokličem parkrat po imenu in me ignorira bi morala vedeti, da ne želi komunicirati z mano, če me opozori, da naj nekaj ne počnem, potem bi morala prenehati s takim početjem. Nepravi ljudje pa so tisti, ki nočejo komunicirati z mano in se me izogibajo. Prav tako je možno, da so pravi ljudje in pravi način, vendar trenutek ni pravi, ali pa jim kaj drugega ni všeč. Zato je dobro opazovati ljudi in njihovo verbalno in neverbalno komunikacijo in jo upoštevati. Zavezujem se, da nisem vsiljiva do ljudi, pri katerih opazim, da nočejo na noben način komunicirati z mano in se me raje izogibajo, ter ne silim vanje samo zato, ker si želim pozornosti.

Odpustim si, da sem sprejela in si dovolila izbrisati vse okoli sebe, ter si predstavljati, da oseba B igra zame in se počutiti, kot da bi igrala mi podoknico. Ko se zavem, da sem izbrisala vse okoli sebe, ter si predstavljala, da oseba B igra zame in sem se počutila, kot da bi mi grala podoknico, se ustavim in diham. Zavedam se, da so moji občutki o ogranju podoknice prišli iz želje po pozornosti in po temu, da bi tudi meni kdo kdaj zaigral. Odšla sem v misli in si želela, da bi tudi meni kdo kaj zaigral in zapel, vendar sem se kmalu potopila v glasbo in petje, ter bila v tistem trenutku, v glasbi in petju, bila sem vesela, presenečena, ker kaj takega od te osebe nisem pričakovala, vendar sem uživala trenutek. Počutila sem se živa in sprejeta in smejala sem se. Pri naslednji pesmi so se pridružili še drugi inštrumentalisti in cel "koncert" sem posnela. Bilo je preprosto čudovito. Zavezujem se, da si ne predstavljam stvari, ki si jih želim nekoč doživeti in raje sprejmem trenutek in uživam v njem.

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Sep 09, 2015
Hm?
Seveda nisi pošastna :-(
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Klavdija Hiti
Klavdija Hiti je objavil/a na zid osebe Pot sprememb
Objavil/a 2015-09-09 00:12:43 (Sep 09, 2015)
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