Scheherazade is continuing... Do you know her story? "Sultan Shahrijar is disappointed and furious because of the woman's infidelity, so he has every woman killed after the wedding night. The vizier's daughter Scheherazade prolongs her life by telling stories to Shahrijar every night, and the story ends at the most tense point towards morning, so that the sultan grants her life for one more night each time. After a thousand and one nights, Shahrijar can no longer live without her, and his anger subsides as well. Thus Scheherazade saves her life with her stories and becomes queen."

So, Scheherezade needs to tell more stories in order not to die... I will not die, I just need to express myself, need to kind of explain my existence here, since i had this special task and this is writing. I feel such a burden because of that, since I sabotaged myself for so long, I didn't want to write, specially not about horrible things which happened to me. And since you showed up and your name is Gabriel, I just understood that I need to continue with writing and that it can be fun!

I remember one story. It was winter in 1980, january, I went to disco club, together with my school mates. I was very sensitive as a teenager, very vulnerable, since my boyfriend died one year ago. I was an emotional wreck. I wanted to die with him, but actually I didn't want it. I didn't have anyone to talk to. I was secretly in love with this schoolfriend who ignored me. I mean in love... I adored her. She had such a style, she was confident in herself, she had nice clothes... And I didn't have nor confidence, nor fancy clothes. 

I came inside the club and there were already many people dancing on the dance floor including my girlfriend who was with her boyfriend. The scene was similar to the scene of Basic Instinct (but there were no drugs), that's why I remembered it. I just saw this scene and I went: "This happened to me!"

I went to the dance floor and started to dance and Ona (let's call her like that) came to me and pull me towards her and started to kiss me. I was so schocked that I couldn't move, I've frozen... I didn't have lots of experiences in kissing, specialy not with the same sex. I stood there and she was turning her tongue around inside my mouth. It was weird, but then I started to like it. My ice began to melt and I started to be hot, hot, hot... I just was in love with her I guess. So, she could do with me whatever she wanted. But... the music was over. She pushed me away and went over to her boyfriend who didn't see anything. Music started to be slow, everyone got into pairs. I just stood there where she pushed me and I started to feel looks from people around me. And I felt so ashamed. I was hot and cold. All at once.

So, I need a second or two to understand that this was it. I took my coat and I run away from the scene. Outside it was snow. Thank's God, because I was burning. I was burning in love. 

I never talked to Ona about that. After some months I felt in love with a boy...