Za to gre!

Objavil/a Dare Likar, dne 2018-02-05 ob 19:58:57

Za Marinka je šiht postal ena sama rutina. Vedno znova se mu je zdel nič drugega kot samo veliko, veliko predolg. NI jamral več, da mu  je delo pretežko, da mu kdorkoli preveč soli pamet, da je njegova mašina primernejša za v muzej, kot za proizvodnjo. Ne, nič takega. Zdelo se mu je le, da stokrat pogleda na uro in da kazalci vedno znova pokažejo enak čas. Po navadi, ko je to komu omenil, je slišal tisto znano: » Se mi zdi, da bo prej tri, kot dve!« Ja, še ena od rutinskih, vedno znova enakih pripomb.

Pa to seveda ni niti zdaleč najhujše, da je Marinku imel občutek, da je delo in vse ostalo v kovačiji dolgočasno, nezanimivo. Najhujše ni bilo niti to, da se mu je velikokrat zdelo, da se nima več s kom pomeniti, da so se, ne da bi opazil točno kdaj, ljudje okoli njega zamenjali in da se je skupaj z njimi spremenila cela slika. Slika ki se mu je zdela marsikdaj neprijazna, nelepa, ampak vsekakor bolj njegova.

Niti to ni bilo tako strašno, da ni našel v delu kakšnih posebnih izzivov. Nobena stvar ga ni tako zelo zanimala, da bi se je lotil z nekim žarom, zanosom, poznanega izpred let. Takrat je kdaj pa kdaj celo ponoči premleval in tuhtal kako bo rešil kakšen problem. No, saj tudi zdaj ni bil brezbrižen, celo nasprotno, zelo skrbno je pazil, da vse naredi tako kot je treba, vendar pa hkrati s čim manj truda, celo čimbolj neopazno. Nobene težave ni imel s tem, če je kakšna pohvala šla mimo njega, pa čeprav je tisto delo po večini opravil prav on sam. Brigalo ga je.

Tisto, kar je bilo res nekoliko problematično je bilo to, da deca ni nič več od vsega vsaj malo jezilo. Celo sam sebe je videl, kot otopelega, indiferentnega opazovalca vrveža, ki je bil še najbolj vesel, če se je odvijal mimo njega in tako, da ni bil njegov niti najmanjši del. Še kako mirno je sprejel tudi najbolj butasto navodilo, pa čeprav je vedel, da od takšnega opravila ne bo haska. Ha, kje so časi, ko se je bil pripravljen prerekati s kakšnim mladim napihnjencem, ki je s svojo teorijo sekal popolnoma mimo. Tudi, ko je moral glancati svojo počrnelo mašino in jo spreminjati v Potemkinovo kuliso, ker so v kovačiji pričakovali nekakšne pomembneže, da si ogledajo mašinerijo in pripadajoče marljive ljudi, ni več godrnjal in se jezil. Tudi potem se je samo nasmehnil, ko so visoki obiski, kot v posmeh maksimalno pohiteli skozi zgradbo in so bili podobni tistemu afriškemu predsedniku, ki so mu okrasili celo mesto, potem pa ga v črnem avtu samo na hitro zapeljali po glavni ulici medtem, ko on sam ni niti malo obrnil glave levo ali desno.  

Malo je razmišljal tu in tam, kaj se je zgodilo. Ali so se stvari uredile? Ali ni več krivic? Je zdaj to kar vidi, pošteno do vseh. Pa ni prišel do zaključkov. Stanje se mu je zdelo nekako nerazumljivo. Kot bi po nekem čudnem sosledju vse postalo del nekega sistema, nekega stanja, ko sicer lahko čutimo, da nekaj ni v redu, da je nekaj nepravilno, nepošteno do nas, ampak s tem problemom ostanemo tam sredi koraka, z napol odprtimi usti sami in brez besed. Vse naše težave z občutki in čustvi vred postanejo del nekih tržnih, logičnih pravil in kakor se to sliši kar tako nekaj, je to tudi edino kar nam lahko odgovorijo tisti, ki so tam zato, da se z našimi težavami, pa čeprav samo navidezno, ukvarjajo.

In ljudje? Pomaknili so se korak nazaj in ostali sami s sabo in sami zase. Nobene najmanjše potrebe ni več, da bi se kdo počutil del skupnosti. Tudi tisti, ki se za nekaj bori, to počne zaradi sebe in s pomočjo dvomljive institucije lovi za rep svoje zamujene ambicije. Včasih plane pokonci in zahteva boljše odnose, potem pa čez pol ure v hodniku potuhtaš, da ne zna reči dober dan. Ali pa rogovili zaradi premajhnih plač, nazadnje pa utihne, ker njemu kapne nekaj usranih evrakov v žep.

»Kaj je Marinko, kaj je s tabo, jebenti!!« je nekako nevsakdanje razigrano ogovoril starega šef Flavio. Tudi on je v vseh teh letih nekoliko obrusil robove, postal bolj znosen. Ali pa vsaj manj hiperaktivno tečen.  Vendar pa, kakšne posebne bistrosti si kljub dolgemu stažu ni uspel nabrati. »Če bi živel tavžent let« je hudomušno pomislil Marinko.

»Kaj je s tabo, nič več ni tvojih pametnih pripomb, nobene jeze in nikoli več tiste pike na i, saj veš, z macolo po plehu pa to!?«

»Veš Flavio, saj ne vem kako bi ti povedal. Dejstvo je, da nekaterih stvari ne razumem. Tako dolgo jih že ne razumem, da sem se utrudil razmišljati o njih. Kaj bi robantil okoli traparij, ki jih ne dojamem!? Po drugi strani pa obstajajo resnice, ki je z njimi ravno obratno.«

Flavio je dvignil obrvi in za ignoranta, kot je bil, nenavadno pozorno prisluhnil.

»Poglej na primer šefe. Saj sam veš, da sem jih kar nekaj imel v življenju. Starega Franceljna, pa Pavleta pa še nekaj jih je bilo, prej kot so nas osrečili s tvojim prihodom.«

Ni bilo jasno ali je Flavio namerno preslišal Marinkov cinizem ali pa ga, kot je bolj verjetno, pač spet ni razumel.

 »Ja, tako različni ljudje so me v življenju komandirali, da ni čudno, da zdaj ne morem ne vem kako zelo jamrati, kako je hudo, kako so odnosi na psu in take reči. Ja, vseh sort je bilo. Sem pa nekaj pomembnega potuhtal. Nekaj kar je bila glede vseh teh ljudi s tabo vred moja precejšnja zmota. Vedno sem mislil in ostali kolegi tudi, da so ti šefi takšni, eni zajebani, drugi žleht, kakšen je celo krut. Ta je reševal stvari tako, da je bil vzvišen, nedostopen, drugi tako, da je bil surov, tretji spet je bil malo šaljiv in tistih svojih šal včasih ni ločil od žalitev. Ja, smo mislili, da so takšnih in drugačnih karakterjev. Zdaj pa vem, da nič od tega ni res.«

Flavio je z dvignjenimi obrvmi in malo odprtimi usti kar nekako priganjal Marinka, naj že pove kar ima za povedati. Začutil je, da mu stari kovač nekaj jemlje, da ga s svojimi besedami degradira in smeši!

»Ja, nič od tega ni in ni bilo res.« je očitno zaključil svoje modrovanje mojster Marinko in se že napol obrnil proti sajasti mašini, da nadaljuje svoja dolgočasna opravil in hkrati, izjemoma, prav on arogantno obrne sitnežu hrbet.

 »Gre za čisto nekaj drugega. Gre samo za to, da ZNAŠ ali pa NE ZNAŠ!!«

 

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Všeč mi je
2
Komentarji
3
Tine
0
Feb 09, 2018
Mojstri hitro vedo, če šefi kaj znajo ali ne. Približno in v maksimalno dveh urah je vse jasno :)
#3
Dare Likar
0
Feb 09, 2018
Abram, hvala! Me zelo zelo veseli! lp
#2
abram1b2 Cej
0
Feb 09, 2018
Dare:)** Enkraten in resnično pravi zapis. Z njim si zadel bistvo v nulo:)**
#1
Dare Likar
Dare Likar
Objavil/a 2018-02-05 19:58:57 (Feb 05, 2018)
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