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Umeščanje v kalup

Liza Whiteapple
06.09.2016 11:46 (Sep 06, 2016)

Sem opna,

tresoča se  v statiki nevihtnega večera.

 

Čarovnikov zajec in nevede glavni akter čarovniškega trika.

Vem, le to, da sem se znašla vmes.

Debelo gledam z angora očmi in skrivam podbradke v angora puli.

 

Sem klopotača z eno glavo, a sedmimi imeni.

Pulim luske na lastnem repu ...  An, ban, pet podgan ...

Zdi se, da mi nagajajo hormoni.

 

Sem potepuški pes,

v navalu sreče zadrem zobe v ljubkovalno izproženo dlan svojega rešitelja.

Ko prejmem brco, pri tem bolestno uživam.

 

Sem napol suha reka, mlačen veter, trhel štor.

Pozabila sem že kaj naj bi bil moj namen,

prav tako, ali sem kdaj kaj vedela o njem.

 

Sem stokrat reinkarnirana duša,

stara, a neumna,

mlada, a nerodna.

V mojih očeh se preliva krivda preteklih življenj.

Nosim jo seboj in iščem primerno drevo, s primernim predalom.

 

Sem navadna kmečka tepka.

Bogato obrodim, sem sama po sebi umevna.

Topla in lesnata, prisotna in olesenela. 

Sama stojim ob svoji hiši in jo varujem.

Tresem se namesto nje, drhtim, pokljam in

Črepinja

Liza Whiteapple
17.06.2016 11:08 (Jun 17, 2016)

Rožnatosiva svetloba pojenjajočega dneva.

Jata ptic leti proti jugu,

čeprav se začenja pomlad…

 

Prazno sedim in pestujem črepinje,

dvignjen palec,

kaplja krvi.

Med tem, ko sem jih zbirala sem se ranila.

 

Ostane sivina.

Svet, ki je bil, ostaja tuj in nem.

Pa vendar,

slutim,

nekje blizu.

Čez sloj oblakov sili

Žarek.

 

Spusti me.

Dušiš me.

Stokrat si mi obrezal dihalne cevke.

Stokrat.

Da bi podaljšal svoje.

 

Spremenil si se v nadležnega starca-otroka,

ki me drži za goltanec,

za ceno lastnega življenja.

 

Zdaj pa,

ko sem se na silo iztrgala….

Boli vrat.

Boli požiralnik.

Preveč sem goltala.

Zdi se mi da umiram.

A si rečem,

to je le misel

Ali je res? Ali zaslužim še?

Še časa, svetlobe in volje?

Da jo bom prazno zmaličila in pretvorila?

Še eno možnost?

Še en vdih?

Snežinka

Liza Whiteapple
06.02.2015 22:15 (Feb 06, 2015)

                      

Če bi bila snežinka,

se ne bi stopila takoj,

ob prvem flirtu z eno stopinjo više.

Ostala bi trdno kristalna,

srce diamant.

Odplesala bi svoj ples s sestricami,

ter pustila mrzli burji,

naj me odloži nekam,

kjer bi se krasila v svoji kristalični oktagonalnosti,

sama zase,

sebi spomenik.

Disasociacija

Liza Whiteapple
02.01.2015 20:13 (Jan 02, 2015)

Sedim v kotu,
V sebi popolnoma dislocirana.

Opazujem.

Življenje občutim, kot šumenje, med tem,
ko mi nekaj, s topo britvijo obrezuje,
pravkar zaraščeno deviško kožico.

Dislektična.

Vidim in zamenjujem oblike, imena, obraze.
Prepričana, da sanjam nočno moro iz otroštva.

Dislocirano.

Pomaknjeno v možganski reženj, kjer zgolj je,
ne jemljem pa je resno.

Disharmonična.

V navidezni harmoniji slepih akordov, gluho vztrajam.

Prepričana, da živim, ampak samo sanjam,
Prepričana da sanjam,
v resnici pa živim.

Novoletna

Liza Whiteapple
30.12.2014 22:01 (Dec 30, 2014)

 

                         

Prijemlje se me tesnoba 

ker je jutri Silvestrovo.

Čeprav vem, da je brez smisla,

da je Novo leto v obliki praznega, načičkanega paketa.

Veliko se govori o njem, zelo malo pa v resnici pomeni.

 

Pljuvam čez ramo, ob vseh praznih voščilih,

vseh prerazsvetljenih, okičenih domovih,

patetičnih, kot bi v nebo kričali svoje želje, da bi z njimi utišali tisti ogromni strah.

Temni vrtinec, ki nas vse skupaj srka nekam v vserazsežni vakuum ničnosti.

 

In vendar vsi vemo.

Nič ne bo drugače.

Prišel bo prvi,

mi pa bomo s kovinskimi občutki v prenapolnjenih želodcih

in z mačkastimi uvelimi obrazi ugotovili,

da se ni spremenilo nič.

Nič ni boljše, nič ni slabše.

Obstaja le simbolika imbecilov in prazen občutek krivde v prsih.

 

Kaj sem spet naredila narobe?

Sem kaj zamudila?

Zakaj nisem takšna, kot vse ostalo?

Sneg

Liza Whiteapple
28.12.2014 12:09 (Dec 28, 2014)

 

Puhasti, mehki kosmi,

lahki, mokri, rahli, plavajoči,

ovijajo svet v nedefinirano, tiho belino.

Tišina je.

In belina.

Kot bi se vse ustavilo.

Snežinke pa…..

Padajo tiho in na gosto.

Skoraj bi pričakovala zvok padanja,

nekaj, kar bi me vnaprej opozorilo,

na spremembo.

Na dogajanje.

Na to, da prekrivajo resničnost.

Zavijajo v hladen bel puh, ki za bežen trenutek zgladi vse gube.

In dokler ostaja nedolžen, dokler se ga nihče ne dotakne, dokler

se ne spremeni v blaten, slan zdriz,

pomeni uteho.

Prijetno prevaro.

Mir in tišino.

Ponoči, ko gledam ven,

se sprašujem,

kako le bi bilo takrat,

ko sem se bolestno poigravala z idejo,

o izničenju in prenehanju,

obsedeti na klopci,

pustiti, da me prekrije

ter se izgubiti in oddaljiti,

V lažno toploto.

Lepota

Liza Whiteapple
02.08.2014 18:42 (Aug 02, 2014)

 Ne bom napisala fraze »lepota je relativna«, ker je ta sila idiotska.

                                       Lepota je v detajlih. V nesimetriji. V odklonu. V misli.

Lepota je skrita v skritem, toplem občutku nekje v trebušni votlini, v torzu, v prsih.

Tisti trenutek, ko notranji glas utihne in te poboža samo občutek nečesa.

In ti da misliti, da je to nekaj, kar ni dano kar samo po sebi. 

Lepota je višek. Pozitivno. Presežek.

Lepota je resnična, kadar se ti pokaže v tišini. Brez motil.

Ko zaznaš, da na svetu obstaja nekaj sorodnega,

kar požgečka tvojo dušo tako, kot je ne zmore nič kar bi proizvedel z lastno domišljijo.

Oglasi

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